Thank you for your prayers

Hello again. I just want to thank everyone for their prayers. I felt God's hand today and it was amazing. While nothing seems to be getting better, my heart has been light and I felt energized after yesterday being so hard.

I would first like to say that my parents are amazing. After talking to them on the phone yesterday, they were the ones that encouraged me to write my post. While I was apprehensive about looking so weak, it was the right thing to do. I received many emails today from people (most recently, Megan Smith) giving me words of encouragement and telling me that they are praying for me. Mom, thank you for your 2 emails in the past 24 hours. They really have pushed me right along. While I feel as though you often worry too much (at least I know that I come by that habit honestly), your worry right now is just what I needed. It makes me feel wanted and loved. About me hooking up with some missionaries from home, I suppose that might be nice. I don't have that much time left here in Shanghai, but if it can happen in the next 2 weeks that would be nice. I don't have to ask Shang or Ni if I can, we are on our own every day after class. So if they can meet me somewhere nearby, I would be able to get to them. I am getting enough sleep, and I'm getting plenty of exercise as well. But mom, in order to get exercise, I need to go out, even if it's by myself. It's okay, really! I can walk around campus and just off campus by myself. I will be perfectly safe. Shanghai really is very safe, and there are always other Caucasians somewhere around.

Second, my dear sister Erin. Thank you so much for your kind emails. Like Mom's and Joe's, they make me cry and make me miss you tons. You're right; God is trying to teach me something. Erin (the other Erin. Isn't it funny that I have an Erin and a Jason AND a Joe on my trip?!) and I were talking about this the other day before she left. We decided that I went into this trip with expectations of meeting some great friends and getting to know an amazing part of the world. While I am getting to know this amazing country, I am not making great friends. This is hard for me because I am such a social person and relationships are what I strive on. So we began investigating what I am learning from this situation. One thing that we came up with is that this is my time to be independent. In a year I will be married (Yay!) and I will have to be dependent upon Joe. (I'll even be submissive and respectful! ;o) So God is showing me how to be on my own. Another thing that Erin and I discussed is that someday Joe and I may move out of state. This trip is preparing me (in an extreme sort of way) for being in another state and not knowing anyone. I may be lonely there too. (Although, everyone will at least be able to speak the same language as me and I will be able to call people whenever I want) This is God's preparation time for me. I am becoming a stronger person both in my faith and with my individuality. Also, thank you for the quotes that you wrote in your email to me. I would like to see this book when I get home. Here are a few of my favorites that you shared with me.

Be alive

   "the purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach 

out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience" 

-Eleanor Roosevelt

Be resilient

   "There is nothing we can't live down, rise above and overcome." 

-Ella Wheeler-Wilcox



Be brave

   "Most of our obstacles would melt away if instead of cowering before them, we 

should make up our minds to walk boldly through them" -Orison Swett Marden

Anyways my sweet sister. Thank you for your emails. And thanks for telling Devon. I got an amazing email from her today. It was so sweet.

Cousin Alex. Your email was the first to reach me. Your words were so kind and were so needed at the time. Thank you for your love and kindness. You have been such a blessing in my life. I can always count on you to understand just how I am feeling. You're right, we do come from a long line of strong women, and I can definitely make it through this. About that rafting ride, you're completely right. I was terrified, and then PISSED when my feet hit dry land. Oh man. We are too much alike. :o)

Today I went and spoke with Shang and Ni about my Chinese class again. After talking to them yesterday they went straight to the ECNU exchange program and asked for a tutor for Kendall and me. Again, God answers prayers because tomorrow we start Chinese with a tutor! Hopefully this will go well and I will not be completely over my head. (For those of you who don't know, last week Kendall and I found out that ECNU expected us to be caught up with the rest of our group in Chinese after only taking 7 classes! They sent our professor home and stuck us in the class with the rest of the group. I was practically in tears because the professor spoke primarily in Chinese and we are by no means that far along in the language!) I am so grateful for Shang and Ni. They really want to take care of us on this trip. Hopefully I will get up the guts to talk to them or one of them about how I'm feeling within the group. It's hard though because males tend to respond to this sort of thing completely different than females, and I am faced with speaking to two males. We'll see if a time comes to make that step.

Last night really brightened my spirits. While I could feel my family praying for me, God also sent 2 very important gifts to me (plus one gift today). First, I was able to figure out how to use my phone card and I called Joe. It was so good to talk to him. While we did not talk for too long, and we did not go too deep into my problems that I am having, we were able to have a light conversation that cheered me up. Then, on top of that, he understood my pain and hurting and sent me numerous emails to tell me that he is praying for me and how proud of me he is. Isn't he the best? It really was just what I needed.

The second gift that I received last night was that when I got on instant messenger (yes, it works now!) Sheila got on! Oh how I had missed talking to her! It really is hard living with someone for a year, spending your complete life with them and then having them move away from you all the way to the other side of the state! But I am so grateful for our friendship. God has blessed me with the most amazing friends. I have friends who completely understand me and who are there for me no-matter-what. And I don't just have one or two of them, I have a large handful. I really am blessed. Oh, but back to Sheila. What made last night extra special is that she came to me with a difficulty in her life, let me in on it and allowed me to try and help her through it. It really was just what I needed. I needed to feel needed. Being lonely is rough because it makes me feel useless in many ways. Sheila cured my feelings of uselessness. Thanks honey :o)

The last gift that I received today was an email from Erin (not my sister). She took my email address before she left on Monday so that she could email me with her train information on Friday. I did not expect an email this soon, but it warmed my heart to hear from her. She sounds just as lonely over in WuShi. She just wanted to check in with me to see how I was holding up. I am so blessed.

Anyways, that is my update for right now. Thanks again everyone for the emails and prayers. I have been feeling them!! I love you all.