My weekend

Hi everyone. I am sorry that it has taken me so long to update. It was a very busy weekend, and with Erin here I did not want to waste the time that I had to talk to someone. :o) No offense, but writing is a little different than actually having a real conversation. I only receive feedback through email, rather than in the middle of my “conversation” with you. Therefore, I constantly thirst for real conversations. This really shouldn’t surprise any of you. You know me and my conversations. I love talking and discussing things.

Well, right now I am sitting in Starbucks writing this. Unfortunately this Starbucks is in the basement of a local mall (right near the subway entrance), so I don’t think wireless is entirely possible down here. I know there’s another Starbucks around here somewhere that is up on the main level, but I couldn’t find it (this mall is HUGE! 6 stories high, and it takes up a whole block). So I settled for this one. The workers are so kind though. They all speak English as a requirement, so I think they enjoy practicing on me. They continuously come up to my table to make sure I’m okay and to ask if I need anything else. This one worker just came around and passed out a free sample to me of a raspberry latte. At first I couldn’t understand the word “raspberry” because he said it exactly how is looks. It reminds me that our English is often very lazy and we don’t pronounce words the way they should be pronounced.

Anyway, the sample was great, and this atmosphere was just what I needed this afternoon. I have been sitting here with my iced latte, muffin and fruit salad, listening to my iPod, which is currently playing the old Jars of Clay CD (blast from the past!) and I am writing my journal for my EAS class with Ni. Mom, you would be very interested in my journal. After the speaker last week, I decided to write about the suicide phenomenon here in China, particularly with the college students. I explored ideas such as, is there any training in handling stress and dealing with the grieving of a suicide, why is suicide so common when there is also such a huge emphasis on family, do the Chinese use the phenomenon of over-exhaustion as a form of suicide, how is suicide responded to within this culture, and finally, do people who suicide receive the same sort of after-death treatment (burial, memorials, ect.) as people who face a natural death. This last question, and probably this whole idea within the journal, was prompted by a trip to a Chinese cemetery yesterday. I will explain all of that later in this blog.

Let me start with how my weekend was, and then I will get to the cemetery thing. As I said, Erin got here Friday night and we went to that Indian restaurant, and then just came back here. We slept in pretty late in the morning then headed out around noon to get lunch and shop. We took the bus over to the mall that I am at right now and looked around for awhile. It was actually quite a long time because it’s so big, and we didn’t even get to all of the floors. But the most exciting thing about this mall is that they have a Crocs store! I didn’t even know that Crocs has stores! It made me quite happy, until I got in there and realized that they were selling the Crocs for about $10-$20 more than in the States! It really was upsetting because they had every color imaginable, plus they had it so that you could mix-and-match your color shoe with the band that goes around your ankle. They had the cutest pink and green ones… so sad. But what was even more annoying is that the store worker followed me around like a puppy. And she wouldn’t just stand about 5 feet away, she was right on my heels the whole way, commenting on every shoe that I picked up. Agh! Mom, it would drive you absolutely nuts. I was getting so annoyed. I don’t even like to shop with other people, let alone have someone looking over my shoulder the entire way. When we left about 3 minutes later I asked Erin how they would respond if I just asked them to leave me alone while I shop (this happens in every single store), she told me that they would be greatly offended, because that is just a custom here. It kind of goes along with having so many people in this city and the mentality that they have no personal space. We all know that I need my personal space. Mom and Dad, remember when you used to joke with me before freshman year that when I need my own space I would have to go and sit in my car in the parking lot to get it? Well I don’t even have a car here… luckily Amara isn’t in the room too much or I would be at Starbucks every single day I think.

So anyway, from there we took the subway to Element Fresh, the same place we ate last weekend. Although, looking more closely this weekend I realized that I was mistaken on what hotel it was outside of. Rather than the Sheraton, it was the Portman…. AKA the Ritz-Carlton. That’s a little bit of a status change huh? So the restaurant was way busy in comparison to last time (we were there on Monday morning last week). There were Caucasian people all over the place! I haven’t seen that many in one place here. Erin and I both ordered the Chicken Salad sandwich and a salad on the side, with (YAY!) a diet coke!! It really was the best food that I’ve had in a long long long time. Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve had FRESH bread (oh my word it was so good) and a salad?! It was incredible. We literally made ourselves sick with eating it all… it made me a little nervous to see how my stomach will react to regular food when I get home… we really did get sick later that night. We think it may have been the lettuce? It could have been washed in China water… but it really was worth it. We discussed how being full off of this food is so different from being full off of American food. It’s fulfilling. Being full off of Chinese food is more like, “I really don’t want any more of this nasty food, and therefore I am full”.

After food we went to Old Shanghai, where I had been a few weekends before to the Yuyuan garden. When we first got there we noticed a huge jewelry department store. We walked in looking for the pearl, but we couldn’t find them anywhere. All we saw was diamonds. So Erin asked a sales person and she told us that the 2^nd flood was all of the sterling silver and jade, and then the 3^rd floor was all pearls. It was an amazing store. So we made our way up to the 3^rd floor and picked a counter with nice looking girls at it.

Department stores and malls in China are a little different than in the US. In malls, each floor is designed to hold a certain type of clothing. One floor has stores with only women’s casual wear, the next might be more dressy clothes, the next might be all shoes, and the next might be all men’s wear and so on. It really is quite convenient. I wish the US would set up their malls like this; it would make shopping so much easier. Department stores are all kind of like the makeup area in the states. There are all different “brands” or companies with all of the same type of item. So this pearl floor was all different companies and we got to choose which one we liked based on their display.

Now, as many of you know, I LOVE pearls. China has an abundance of pearls, all for an amazing price. So when I got here I knew that this would be one thing that I would buy as a souvenir for myself... with the idea that I would wear them in the wedding next summer. At each pearl store they have strands and strands of pearls that you can pick from. They have them organized by size and color. After you pick the size and color, they measure the length that you want and they have you pick out a clasp that you like. Then they string them right in front of you. You buy the pearls by strand, so if you want a bracelet, you will end up getting 2 bracelets out of one strand. So I picked the type of pearl I wanted and I had them make a necklace, 2 bracelets and I picked out earrings to match. In the states this would be a couple hundred dollars. In China, I got all of that (plus she threw in an extra necklace) for just under $75. I was in heaven. I’m so excited to show you Mom and Erin!

So Erin and I both had our pearls made, and while they were being strung, we walked around to some other “booths”. We found a few that rather than having pearls, had all sorts of beautiful rocks and beads that could be strung into necklaces. It was enjoyable and a few gifts were bought :o) I believe I will be heading back there sometime this week to make a few more necklaces. Mom, I can’t remember, but I thought that you don’t like pearls? Are you sure? I would really like to bring you home a necklace. Let me know.

Then Erin and I headed down the street to our “purse guy”. He is the same guy who I bought my LV luggage from, and so far has some of the best selection of purses and luggage that I have seen. As we walked up he recognized us (I sent Erin to him by herself last weekend and she bought a few things), so he brought us right to his backroom which holds the better looking materials. A few more gifts might have been bought :o)

After doing a little more gift buying we were exhausted and not feeling well, so we took a taxi back and settled in for a movie night. We watched Audrey Hepburn’s Roman Holiday :o) One of my favorites, then went to bed.

The next morning we had to be up early for a daytrip with the group. At about 9:30am we got on a bus and headed for the Shanghai suburbs. We first went to Sheshan Mountain Catholic Church. This used to be the most well-known Catholic Church in the all of the Asian countries. People would come from far and wide to visit it. It was so beautiful! This huge church was perched right up on the hill, looking down over a small suburb city. The inside was gorgeous, with tall tall ceilings and large pillars. It felt very peaceful. We weren’t supposed to take pictures, but we snuck them in anyway :o) While reading about the history, I found out that the church was built right around 1943 I believe… so about 6 years before the Communist rule. It was closed down during Mao’s time, and during the Cultural Revolution (somewhere between the 1970’s and 80’s) it was almost completely destroyed. Once the revolution was finished, it was rebuilt. But due to the communist state, the only mass that is done is during the month of May.

Erin and I talked about this (She is Catholic) along with Amara who is from Holland Christian. We were curious as to how the Communist gov’t allows for mass to occur. Remembering my conversation with Leaf on the way to China, I figured that what is taught is probably okayed by the government. We asked Professor Ni, and he told us that there are many western churches in China (it’s true, I’ve seen them) but that in order to build them, you need to get a permit from the government. He told us that this is very difficult in large cities that have many churches, but in a small city that has no churches it is easier. From what I can figure out, with getting this permit they probably also sign a contract agreeing to what they can and cannot preach. Therefore, the underground churches arise. We figured out quickly within the conversation that Professor Ni does not know very much about western religions and we had to take everything he said with a grain of salt. He mentioned a few times how the government is worried that the Catholic “leaders” (AKA Vatican) will rise up and start a revolt… see what I mean? He seems to think that western religions are more of a ruling sort and that they want to overthrow the government. I suppose that was ingrained in his head from growing up in Communist China. We tried to explain that western churches wouldn’t do that, but I don’t think it was very affective. Oh, P.S. Sheila, I thought of you a lot at this church. You would have loved it. I got you something from it :o)

From the church we went down to another suburb city, which I unfortunately do not know the name of. This city is known for maintaining its old China looks. Now it is a tourist trap, which you have to pay to get into. But luck for us, people from restaurants sit in the parking lot and attack the buses as they come in to try and get them to come to their place. Well the lady that we chose brought us down the street into a back entrance so that we didn’t have to pay :o) They’ll do anything for some customers. So after a not-so-good lunch, we took a boat ride in this canal that runs through the city, then we did some shopping in the shops. I got this one lady ridiculously mad at me because I made an offer on a silk robe that I guess was just absurd. Oh well, I didn’t want it that bad!

After shopping we left the city and headed to the cemetery. We weren’t too excited about this because we were all exhausted, but when we got there we were pleasantly surprised (sounds terrible to say that about a cemetery, I know). When we pulled up a guard met us at the door to our bus. Ni took care of things and we later found out that we wouldn’t have been let in except that Ni’s parents were buried there so they did. So Ni went to this flower shop and we entered the cemetery. It was honestly one of the most beautiful, serene places that I have ever been to. There was music playing softly, the landscape was absolutely gorgeous and the gravestones… well they weren’t your normal gravestones. They were HUGE and extravagant. They were more like memorials than anything else. Mom, remember when Phep died and his family had this huge gravestone for him? Well they were very similar to that, only much more beautiful. Each stone had a picture of the person or people on it. Some of them even had statues carved into the face of the person. They also had stories and jokes about the person on them. All of them were shaped differently in order to describe the person better. Ni and Shang would tell us about some of the people and read us their descriptions. It really wasn’t a cemetery at all, it was a celebration of life. It was so beautiful… not just looking, but the thoughtfulness.

Ni brought us to his parent’s stone, which was absolutely beautiful. There was a picture of his parents and inscriptions about them. He put the flowers down in the vase on the grave and then bowed slowly, three times. Then Shang went up to it and did the same. It made me cry. It was so sweet. Shang and Ni’s friendship began when they went to college after the Cultural Revolution, and they have been friends ever since. Therefore, Shang was very close to Ni’s parents as well. We all felt a little awkward being there during this personal time, but Ni told me later that he was honored that we could see his parent’s stone and that he wanted to share that moment with us. He said that it was not a sad time for him; it was a happy time of remembering and honoring his parents. It was an inspiration for me to hear him speaking like that. I wish American’s had the same mentality. I wish that our cemeteries were like this one. It was so happy and wonderful. It was more beautiful than the parks here in China. There were ponds with gazebos, bridges, swings, benches, and more landscapers than I have seen this whole time I’ve been in China. I will put up pictures of it all later. I felt terrible taking pictures of a cemetery, but Shang said it was alright. Although, Shang’s advice to us is always to just do it, and ask for forgiveness later. And he says whenever people get mad at us, never use Chinese with them. Always pretend that we speak no Chinese… hehehe what a conniver :o)

Once we got back, Erin left right away to get back to WuXi. (I’ve been spelling the town wrong… it’s not WuShi, although it sounds like that). I did some homework yesterday despite my headache. I’m looking forward to this being my last week of Chinese. I’m quite sick of the language. It’s very very hard. Then, last night as I was finishing up my homework, Joe got on AIM so I was able to talk to him for awhile. It was nice. It’s getting harder to be away from him as the day go by :o(

Well, before I get into my emails, I have some news. The plan was that this coming Saturday the group would leave for Tibet. Well, the plans have been changed and our trip has been postponed by a week, which also means that our trip will be shorter than anticipated.

We have known for sometime now that our plans were up in the air. The travel agency was having some problems booking our transportation. See, this past year a brand new railway to Tibet opened. This is much cheaper than flying to Tibet, which is what the previous groups have done, plus the scenery would have been an experience. So Shang and Ni were planning on us riding the train. But the train service pulled a fast one. They knew the popularity would be huge, so rather than allowing travel agencies to pre-book groups, they have not given any tickets to travel agencies and the only way that they are allowing people to get tickets is to personally buy them 5 days ahead of the departure. By the time that this was announced, the popularity was so huge that the travel agency could not guarantee that we would get enough spots for our whole group. It was too much of a toss-up. So they went to plan-B (not the bar:o) which was to fly there and back. Unfortunately because this was decided so late, all of the flights were booked. So we had to move it back a week. We are going to Tibet on the night of the 28^th and coming home on the 3^rd. Some people within the group are very upset. I figure that I am still going to Tibet, therefore, there is no reason to be upset. How many people actually get the chance to actually go to Tibet?! No need to have a bad attitude about it.

So as I said, we will fly out on the 28^th, sleep overnight in a hotel somewhere 3 hours away from Shanghai (by plane), and then the next morning catch a flight from that town to Lhasa. We will take the rest of the day to acclimatize. The next day we will visit the Potala Palace and a Buddhist temple. Then the following day we will go by bus to a city called Lin Shi… which I believe is south of Lhasa. We will make stops on the way through the mountains to different tourist places. We will sleep overnight in Lin Shi, and then drive back a different route the next day, making more tourist stops. The next day we will visit another temple in Lhasa to see Buddhist monks’ debate, have some free time, and then we fly out the next day, which should be the 3^rd.

This means that we have an extra week before we leave. Luckily they are not making us have an extra week of Chinese, but rather than having our exam when we get back from Tibet, we will have it before we leave… which is actually a blessing. Also, we will have more time before our presentations and papers for EAS201 to be done. We will be doing our presentations while in Tibet. Then we will only have 2 days before we leave to come back to the states. This brings me to another worry/prayer request that I have.

The typhoon/hurricane (Bilis) that I spoke about did not directly hit us here in Shanghai. Luckily we are far enough off the coast that all we get is high winds (which felt wonderful!) and rain. (It did hit REALLY hard south of us. There was HUGE flooding and many many deaths!) But it has been discovered that there is another hurricane heading our way that should hit in August. They are expecting this one to be large. Last year the group was delayed getting home by one day due to a hurricane/typhoon. Everyone knows that I enjoy knowing exactly what’s going to happen, and if it does not happen how it is supposed to happen I breakdown. Therefore, if you could pray that I get home on-time, or that the hurricane would settle down, it would be greatly appreciated. To get home a day later would mean that I would have to leave for Camp the very next morning and I was planning on using the 7^th to re-pack and to spend with Joe. I know I am getting worked up over something that isn’t supposed to happen for 3 weeks, but please just start to pray.

Along with the prayer request lines, I have been getting quite sick from the food lately. Please pray that my body adjusts. I thought I did well after being here 3 weeks and not getting sick… apparently it’s just taking a little long to hit me.

On to emails.

Mom, I received the email from Nancy. I emailed her back today saying that I would like to meet up with her. I have no idea who she is or how you connected with her, but I will trust that I should do this. I hope that Grandpa and Grandma are doing better. I’ve been praying for them. I don’t like to hear that they are not doing well while I am all the way over here :o( How is Grandpa Ludema? You haven’t mentioned him lately.

So far, I have heard responses from Amy, Becca and Megan about their bridesmaid’s cards, and they were all surprised and excited. Amy actually just called Joe yesterday to tell him “YES YES YES YES YES” because her internet isn’t working. I am still waiting to hear from Leah and Sarah… trying to be patient, even though I already know what their answers will be :o)
I’m glad you guys had a good Sunday. I wish I could have been with you :o) I hope Erin has safe travels when she leaves tomorrow. I’ll have to email her before she leaves. Make sure she checks her email!

Alright, well it was slow in the email box this weekend, so that’s it! I hope everyone has a great day and I look forward to hearing from people. Love you all.